Retrospective of Time

When I was a teen, I loved Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It was everything I could have ever asked for in an RPG fantasy world. Up until that point the only other game like it I’ve played was Legend of Dragoon (which I’ll gush about at a later date).

Next to Mario 64, Ocarina of Time was the first title I have ever played that didn’t have claustrophobic cgi like games on the playstation had or 8bit/16bit side scrolling from the previous Nintendo consoles. ((For the purpose of “immersion” we won be delving into Sega consoles today.))

Though I’ve played other Zelda titles in the past I didn’t have nostalgia for any of them. The side scrolling Link in Zelda II and top down Links in the other titles just didn’t emulate the level of “immersion” necessary for me to “care” about the protagonist, his problems, as well as his interaction and relationships with very bland run-of-the-mill (and not to mention stoic demeanor of the) Hylian inhabitants. These were the people Link was sticking his neck out for. A protagonist fighting for faceless civilians with very little to say did not motivate me to continuing on.

It should be mentioned that a lot is forgiven and chalked up to having less space on an NES, SNES, and gameboy cartridge; however, that doesn’t mean what messages are used were of high quality. This is where OoT succeeded at where the previous titles failed.

In 1998 I found myself giving a shit about who the Kokiri were, why they were delegated to living in a limited space they dare called a “forest.” I questioned why the Garuda women worshipped the one man who was born every hundred (or thousand) years & just how the race managed to populate without him. (magic?)

My questions were like drops of water that when combined became an ocean of intrigue. I played that game until the cartridge and (eventually) N64 worn far beyond functionality.

When 9/11* occurred I was on my 17th & 18th run of the game, my room shut away to playing overnight as I had done in summer’s past. That is how immersed I was in Hyrule. I wrang those 49 dollars for every penny.

What perpetuated this? Three words: Dungeon and Dragons.

Before OoT I had become a DnD fiend. I played twice a week & reveled in it. My middleschool life circled around DnD. I had a different die for 3 characters from 3 different DnD groups I campaigned with. My greatest moment was lasting the longest in a Gauntlet down the 9 Hells of Ba Ator to Amodeous. I made it to the 6th circle before dying.

But again OoT offered more immersion in place of less creative control. When it came down to it; the more immersed I was the more enjoyment I got out of the game.

Last year’s release of Zelda 3DS answered the question: “How much is too much immersion?” The answer was obvious.

After only moments of staring into the 3DS screen I began to experience a migrane. Slowly, I began to be less and less immersed as time went on, until I decided to pull back the 3D. And just like that I felt my mind entering Hyrule again.

Nowadays I don’t play many games let alone replay OoT; however, the love for the title had spread like wildfire among my younger siblings and even relatives. OoT fever follows every family reunion as I look on from the back and remember the good times I had playing the game, talking about it in school, bickering over lore, and even reading some elaborate fanfiction.

I won’t lie, I used to write Zelda politics in the few fanfiction I had written now long lost on the old ezboard.com servers before there were blogs, forums, and game driven communities.

I’m currently working on a novel using many of my unpublished ideas. Lets hope it’s pretty entertaining, if not “immersive.”

*This is why I play a fantasy game of some sort every 9/11, pronouncing it “Zelda Day.”


Funny Friday – Pedo Clause

Funny Friday - Pedo Clause

He sees you when you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows if you’ve been bad or good.
So. be. good.

FORMAL+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is my tribute to the famed show: The Comedy Button. A podcast containing amusing veterans of video game media sites such as Destructoid, Gamespy, Geekbox, and IGN.

After the tragic cancellation of the Gamespy Debriefings the group realized they had something special and so set forth a spiritual sequel to that amazing show. A show COMPLETELY funded by kickstarter donations*! As a result, what you see before you is a glimpse of one man’s myopic interpretation of a single story from last week’s episode of the Comedy Button.

Now I have listened to podcast-a-many over the years but I have never laughed so hard and often in my life than I had when listening to this group of talented individuals. Again, this is one man’s myopic view of what “funny” is. Many of you out there might be butthurt “offended” in fact of this show and the many topics that are tackled. It’s not a one-size fit all show; HOWEVER, if you are a geek, aren’t sensitive, and were a child of the 80s and 90s there is a high chance that you will find this show hilarious.

Please Give The Comedy Button a shot and if you like it then like it on facebook as well: http://www.geekbox.net/archives/category/podcasts/comedy-button/

*It is important to note that THIS happened before THIS. So don’t be an ignorant hater and make a stupid claim. ‘Sank yo’.

iNfOrMaL+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This photo was inspired by a very popular question on twitter. It’s a question Max Scoville dislikes the most and it happens to be the most popular question asked on famed show Podtoid by Jim Sterling:

“Is this pedophilia or not?”

I personally dunno. St. Nick IS imaginary after all.

But I KNOW someone who DOES know: And I want YOU to be the ones that ask him: His name is Jonathan Holmes. He is Jim Sterling’s right hand man (heh right hand).

Go on twitter and tweet him @tronknotts: “Is Santa Claus spying on children via cameras while fapping Pedophilia OR NOT?!”

Don’t stop there though, ask him about OTHER imaginary creatures and when you run out MAKE SOME UP!

Doing this is all good in the NAME OF EDUCATION!!!


Burntweiners: A true C2E2 story.

Ah, C2E2.

C2E2-cover-BROKEN-LINK

I remember back when you were a baby. Before that in fact, all the way back to when you were just an idea someone had.

It was 2009 and I was listening to Around Comics religiously at the time. This was a podcast that had its brown nose finger up the butt on the pulse of the American Comic Book Industry. Over the course of 2009 and early 2010 the convention had been hyped up as a more than some comic book convention, but an extravaganza. In fact, at the time, there was great speculation that this convention would be the Mid West’s very own SDCC (fat chance). Now, only 3 years later, C2E2 is a mainstay with a dedicated crowd of thousands guaranteed to purchase a ticket on day one.

And I still have yet to attend. Someday that will change but I’ve always been content with iFanboy’s C2E2 event recordings:

iFANBOY’S Video Cast of C2E2 #1 – 2010 (part 1)

iFANBOY’S Video Cast of C2E2 #2 – 2011 (part 1)

Butt you probably don’t care about that history lesson.

You want the goods. I can tell. Well alright, I’ll spill:

Comic Cons are secretly a place where geek girls and manbabies from all around get together and get DRUNK. Real drunk. So drunk they don’t even know the number of fingers on their hands.

C2E2 is no different. You leave the con area, you walk down some dark dirty allies of Chicago and find yourself a bar. In this bar are manbabies, so you better know your comics, or they’ll SIT on you. And you DON’T want to be SAT on let me tell YOU.

So let’s say you have a seat at a table the famed MEN of Burntweiners podcast resided. You have a seat next to my buddy Jon as they discuss anything under the blue sky.

And then the unspeakable happens.

“PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!”

Silence.

A deadly wind cuts through the air like a hot knife on stinky, stinky butter, and no one can help but gag. Followed by a slush everyone, including you, squirms.

Though hysterical to witness, it is a terrifying experience to be in.

Now if you were to be so kind and to listen to Burntweiner’s  C2E2 Special you’ll witness a tiny glimpse of the wild party that is this Chicago Expo.

The farts, the poops, the stinkies, it’s all a common thing at conventions. Men walk with no rogaine, chap thighs slapping skin so rough it sounds like Chevy pistons that haven’t had an oil change. These are things about conventions no one tells you, but that’s what I’m here for. I’m the good guy, lookin out for the little guy (you’re welcome by the way). I lend a helping hand to fish (you) out of water (your comfort zone).

So when you’re out there and the unspeakable happens just know that it was good Ol’ MangamanX who helped you avoid that situation.

Outty.

– X

PS: He whoth smelth ith, delth ith, STEEGE. :p

PPS: Behind the scenes rough draft: PRE-PHOTOSHOP


Bizarre Game of the Month: Revenge of the Sunfish

Many-a-time I have been told that Japanese directors such as Keita Takahashi (Katamari & NobyNoby Boy), Goichi Suda (No More Heroes & Killer7) and Hideo Kojima (Policenauts & Metal Gear Solid Series) have time and time again demonstrated capacity for having wild imaginations and a taste for the bizarre. And while that may be true, I have grown desensitized to the even most seeming *nagual and chaotic elements in relatively recent console games, due to the sheer amount of oddities encountered in pc games, arcade games & imports over the past few years.

Out of sheer obsession compulsion I have decided to showcase “Revenge of the Sunfish” created by Jacob Buczynski.

What is it? UGH…It’s a game.

I promise.

It’s crude ms-paint visuals are an obvious homage to the ocean of similar meme-birthing images shared on 4chan.

The game’s “plot” centers around a galaxy under attack by a Sunfish.

The first level has thrown off a great many in the past but it’s said that the second level is a better indicator of how the rest of the game will play. Personally speaking, this is something I can vouch for. The humor will either get you going, making you curiouser and curiouser to what absurd event occurs next or you will throw your keyboard across the room in the middle of level one.

This game knows its target well so, obviously, it isn’t for everyone. Its jokes are so insular at times that I find myself questioning my web-rep. This game might as well be renamed to “Internet: The Game.”

Regardless, many retrogamers will find themselves at home as they find nostalgia in the casual and modern hardcore gamer’s inability to penetrate the purpose of such a juvenile-like product. Many might call it stupid in fact.

Funny, I recall the same being said about a plumber in red overalls fighting dinosaurs and stomping on turtles.

 

NOTES
*Nagual: See Deleuze & Guattari “A Thousand Plateaus”


Jet Set Radio: Birthday Cake

Skip to 1:55 for what I would call “A Japanese Interpretation of Late 80s – Early 90s American Hip Hop Music.”

The Late 80s – Early 90s (or as I’d like to call it the “Sweet Spot” of HipHop) was the climax of mainstream Hip Hop as an art form before plateauing and eventually plummeting in quality. The lyrics, although, ridiculous and arguably riddled with Engrish, is reminiscent of a time when Hip Hop was simply about having a good time and partying alongside your peers, setting aside differences be it gang affiliation, gender, or religion.

It was a magical time and these momentary notes capture that feeling quite effectively.


The Last Superhero Film that Matters: The Avengers Trailer

Fourteen years ago (God has it already been 14 years?) Marvel released a film about a half-man, half-vampire vampire slayer titled “Blade”. Since then a wave of high budget action heroes starring Marvel’s most popular licenses slowly but surely marched their way onto theaters nation-wide.

This changed in 2008 when Iron Man was released. After Iron Man, the flow of superhero films would never be the same again. Suddenly waves of superhero films stormed their way into theaters. No longer were we getting a steady stream of capes and superpowers but a flood.

Washed away were the most of us, like wet New Orleans Katrina Survivors. And like Katrina Survivors were sick of water many of us were sick of capes.

Needless to say the sour taste would prevent nerd a-many from even acknowledging the existence of films like Jonah Hex (which sucked) or Punisher Warzone (even though I liked that one).

It didn’t matter. Two films were coming out and they would demand the attention of nerds everywhere whether they wanted to admit or not, and they were: Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger.

For those of you non-comic fans this was a big fucking deal. Captain America was considered a cursed IP to film ever since the hilariously campy film simply titled “Captain America” hit theaters with an embarrassing gross of $675.437! This movie may not make or break the possibility of an Avengers film but it sure as hell would hurt the crowd libido pumped for an epic crossover.

Thor was equally as difficult of a film to pull off on paper since comic books have the potential to use unlimited amounts of special effects and CG that never seem extremely fake or even barely crossing the uncanny valley. And if there was anything Thor had, it was swash buckling fantastical creatures in very unearthly realms. It was as far away from any Tolkien work as one could get in fantasy but somehow Marvel pulled it off yet again.

So, once again, thanks to those two films I have been rejuvenated enough to bother seeing the latest Avengers Trailer and all that I have to say is I am sold. SOLD!

I’ll be waiting with bated breath on opening night. I won’t even wait for the iFanboy Podcast Special Edition discussing the film before hand like I normally do to enhance the experience.

LINK: Avengers Trailer 2012

Let’s hope this cynic can believe in superhero films once again.

X, Out.


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